I realize that all of you are probably sick of me whining about my life going by too quickly, or my kids growing up to fast, but try to bear with me over the next few days, because Saturday is a big day...
As we quickly approach our baby boy's first birthday, once again, I am struck with the reality that my children are growing up much too quickly. As I rocked little J back to sleep last night, I was flooded with emotions, mostly guilt.
"I haven't rocked him enough..."
"I didn't smell his tiny forehead enough, soaking in that sweet scent of baby."
"I haven't read enough books to him...haven't sung to him as often as I should."
All these things almost brought me to tears, but I know the reality is that I DID DO all these things, and I certainly TRIED to savor the moments, making mental pictures, trying to absorb in all of it during his first year. Life is just so darn quick. It gets even quicker the more we try to do in a day...carpools, lunches, laundry, work, dinners, baths...all the everyday things we do about our normal lives. But at the end of the day, I don't want to look back at the past years with regret. I want to read the books, sing the songs, take time to kiss and hug, more than I do the other things that don't matter as much. Somebody once said, "Your children will not remember if their kitchen was clean, or that the floors of their home were spotless, but what they will remember is that you took special time with them." Who cares, if at the end of the day, that my sink has dishes in it? Isn't it far more important that they remember me taking the time to sing, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" one more time, while tucking them in at night, or that I stopped mopping my floors when they needed me to read them a story? Isn't that, after all, much more important?
All this being said, I still think, even if I do this, that I would sit and think after all my children are grown, "I didn't do enough...I should have enjoyed it more." In a way, I want them to remain little forever, but then again, I don't. I'm excited about seeing my children grow up because I know God has a special plan and purpose for them. How wonderful it will be to watch all that unfold. I just want to again, stop and remind myself of how very precious this time is. To stop and slow down the pace...stop rushing so much. I'm making memories today for my children, as well as myself, and I want them to be good memories.