Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Slowing Down To Enjoy The Scenery
Do you ever just feel like you are running on auto-pilot? I know I talk often about time passing too quickly and my kids growing up faster than I would like.
My mother was telling me about a conversation she had with my brother the other night. He was recalling a very scary event in his life when his 6 year old daughter had to have an emergency brain surgery because of an aneurysm that had occurred. M, his daughter is doing great and it has been about 6 years since that very frightening night. He was telling my mom that he stopped and looked at her lying on the sofa, sick with the flu, and it all came rushing back...the emotions of that time. He said that during that time he was so busy with surgeries, therapies, etc., all while still preaching every Sunday to his congregation, that he never really had time to feel the grief and the sadness while it was occurring.
I remember having newborns. I remember feeling desperate, tired and emotionally drained. I remember feeling like I wished the "newborn stage" would hurry up and be over. I was ready to get some sleep. I don't know how well that I relished the opportunity to hold and rock my babies because quite frankly, I wanted them to sleep..in a bed..in their bed..all night long. I was even too afraid to go in their rooms and watch them peacefully sleeping after they finally fell asleep, in fear that the creak of the door might wake them. Did I let those moments slip by me or did they just go by too quickly?
Do you ever just feel like your life is full of calendars, to do lists, schedules, and routines that you are always living life a few days ahead of yourself? It's like vacation. You have to plan and prepare to go on vacation, while on vacation there is so much you want to fit in, and before you know it your on your way back home.
I this post by Ann yesterday and it all fit in with what I was thinking. You should read it, but my favorite quote from that post is this:
"When I fully enter into now, the weight of being fully in the moment slows time down. Full attentiveness is the only thing that does."
I love that and I couldn't agree more with that statement. When you are truly "in the moment", being fully attentive, you do seem to relish in it more. Your paying attention, you've slowed down to enjoy it. I remember being on vacation this past summer with my family and while swimming the pool with my daughter, both of us looking silly in our goggles and mask, we were looking at each other under the water and laughing in the moment. I remember thinking to myself REMEMBER THIS. It is like those days when I had those sweet babies resting in my arms and would stop to smell their little heads...REMEMBER THIS I would think. Or lately, when I catch a glimpse of my son and hear him counting "one, two, free, go" and jumping off the chair then rolling with laughter....REMEMBER THIS.
I want to have more REMEMBER THIS moments and less panic over what "has" to be done. I want to slow down and be more attentive. I want to experience the joy of a moment and stay there a minute to savor it and be thankful for it. Pay attention. Be IN the moment, not just OF the moment.
(I guess I did actually go in and sneak a picture of a little one sleeping.)
(K helping make cobbler a couple of years ago)
(A beautiful smile on a chilly day)